Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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