Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you never un-have a 4some
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
false alarm, still single
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
