singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
