Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
