I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
