I wish I only lived at night.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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