He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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