i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
