Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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