I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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