Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
