I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
