There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
