It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
