Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
