i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
