oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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