Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
