I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
