I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
