It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
