When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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