I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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