We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
