smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
