everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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