So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
