I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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