if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
