I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
