i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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