I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
