Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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