Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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