i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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