i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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