I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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