Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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