DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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