I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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