Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
