she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
