How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
