Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
