This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize