Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
