Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
