I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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