Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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