you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
