i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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