even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
