Apparently you make a good broom.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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