At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
