I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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