I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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