bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
