She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
