I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
