I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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