you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
