Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
